Brian: "So are you coming or going? Or coming and then going... or coming and staying?"

Brian: "Look, I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure, and a minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in so they can get laid. And then they end up hurting each other because it was all based on lies to begin with. If that's what you want, then go and find yourself a pretty little girl and get married.

Brian: "Good. Give him some activity so he'll stop stalking me."

Brian: "Do you know that I had to promise your mother that you wouldn't be late for school tomorrow? And by the way, she sends her love."

Brian: "It's French. We're frenching."

Brian: "No, but I'll kick your tight little virgin ass so hard you won't be able to sit down for a week."

Brian: "I tune out self pity. It makes my dick soft."

Brian: "Good. Give him some activity so he'll stop stalking me."

Brian: "So in other words, for Justin to live here with you he has to deny who he is, what he thinks, and how he feels."

Brian: "You know that's just what I need... to be at a dance with a bunch of fucking 18 year olds."

 Brian: "it's time to take care of your morning hardon...though its well past noon"

Brian: "So many men...so Little Body Hair."

Brian: "He's kinda young....lets go for it!"

Brian: "The only thing thats worth Celebrating is Achievement"

Brian: " You should call my mothers minister, he gives great head!"

Brian: "Oh we can Meditate! That sounds like fun!"

Brian: "I dont need a cake! I gained 3 ounces last week. Now will you please get off my back.  have a shitload of work to do"

Brian: "This isnt the birthday suite I'd like to see you in"

Brian:" You want too much. you expect too much then when your hero dissapoints you, your poor little heart gets crushed"

Brian: "I dont need an excuse to fuck"